Poem: the Sense of an Ending

 The world spun increasingly slow
Days felt like months
Hours felt like days
Minutes felt like hours
Volcanoes spurted their larvae
All together
They wanted me to feel their inner heat
I didn't want to miss it
I felt hot, very very hot
I smoldered, I cringed,
I felt as if I were turning to ash
Instead I turned into glass
Thick glass
I refracted the glow of the molten larvae
The larvae felt like tears
Tears that would have otherwise remained retroflected,
Flowed in hot fury
I am thankful for the heat that changed me
I have turned into a solid, transparent, reflective, smooth, supportive material
This is a gift
As the end drew near
The volcanoes emptied out
Heat turned to warmth
It is now summer
The sense of an ending
There is sadness
It is not grief because there is no loss
Only gain
As the last milliseconds crept by
I felt the here-and-now like never before
How long does the here-and-now last anyway?
3 seconds? 3 milliseconds?
At the very end
As we say our goodbyes for the last time at the door
as we turn to look each other for the last time eye to eye
The here-and-now is eternity.

Nicole Chew-Helbig, Vienna, 26.6.2019


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Endings: Termination of therapy

Psychotherapy is a life-long, ongoing process for the client. The client feels the effect of therapy long after the sessions are over. It is a fact, that at some point, the therapist and client will part ways. Notwithstanding sudden disability or death of either party, the process of termination is a very important part of the client’s therapy.

Norcross, in the interview below, explains the process succinctly. Like him, I would consider termination a form of “graduation” for both therapist and client. The client attains new learnings about the self, and the therapist achieves an abundance of professional knowledge.

Norcross state the following steps for good termination:

  1. Proper preparation for termination.
  2. Reflection on the gains and consolidation of the gains.
  3. Processing of feelings about the therapists and client.
  4. Discussion on future functioning .
  5. Generalization of skills, etc. achieved.
  6. Anticipation of future growth.

 

Norcross reminds us that termination may not mean ending of the relationship. In fact the therapeutic relationship does not change. Termination or graduation means that a phase of the work is ended. It is not uncommon for clients to resume therapy with the same therapist when they reach a new phase, and when they feel that they need to reconnect with the previous therapist.

My experience is that when time is allowed for the process of termination, the process goes more in-depth. As a consequence, the client gains far more insight from the consolidation of learnings, and is able to take home a valuable resource that lasts a lifetime.