This information is lifted off the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders ( DSM 5). Interestingly, this passage, which I consider to hold very important information, is written as a footnote on page 134 of the Manual.
What is the difference between grief and major depression, anyway?
For one thing, grief is a natural, healthy reaction to loss. It is an emotional response to something that has happened in our lives. We cannot escape encountering losses, and we cannot escape feelings of grief when it happens. Just because one feels terrible in a state of grief, does not mean that one has a mental / psychological disorder.
My reason for highlighting this, is with the hope that in grief, one one learns to find the right kind of self-support: find someone to talk to, try to not be alone, cry, find creative outlet and let time heal the wound (although it may leave the scar).
A potentially detrimental method of avoiding grief is to turn to drugs or narcotics, blame the self/self judgement for feeling bad, or any kind of harming the self or others.
Here’s what is written in the DSM-5 footnote:
“In distinguishing grief from a major depressive episode (MDE), it is useful to consider that in grief the predominant affect is feelings of emptiness and loss, while in a MDE it is persistent depressed mood and the inability to anticipate happiness or pleasure. The dysphoria in grief is likely to decrease in intensity over days to weeks and occurs in waves, the so-called pangs of grief. These waves tend to be associated with thoughts or reminders of the deceased. The depressed mood of a MDE is more persistent and not tied to specific thoughts or preoccupations. The pain of grief may be accompanied by positive emotions and humor that are uncharacteristic of the pervasive unhappiness and misery characteristic of a MDE. The thought content associated with grief generally features a preoccupation with thoughts and memories of the deceased, rather than the self-critical or pessimistic ruminations seen in a MDE. In grief, self-esteem is generally preserved, whereas in a MDE feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing are common. If self-derogatory ideation is present in grief, it typically involves perceived failings vis-à-vis the deceased (e.g., not visiting frequently enough, not telling the deceased how much he or she was loved). If a bereaved individual thinks about death and dying, such thoughts are generally focused on the deceased and possibly about “’joining” the deceased, whereas in a MDE such thoughts are focused on ending one’s own life because of feeling worthless, undeserving of life, or unable to cope with the pain of depression.”